I decided about a month or more ago that I am socially or relationally challenged. In a word : an introvert.
So since that revelation, I have been reading every relational book and asking every relational question there is to ask.
Right now Jennifer and I are reading Learning to Love People You Don't Like by Floyd McClung (good book).
But every chapter it seems to hit on something I am not doing right.

I like these kind of books becasue it makes me shrink inside and wish I was different. Then because I am open to change God seems to make everything in my life magnify this problem. Ok that was a little side trip but back to the main point.

One of the chapters we read last night was called Rules For Relationships. It was amazing. Here are the five "rules".

(1)Maintain an attitude of humility {being willing to be known for who we are and for what we have done rather than being superficial. (I am not very good at this.)}, Meekness {not insisting our way or pushing ourselves forward}, Patience {wait for others lovingly even when they are wrong}, Forbearance {help others when they are weak}.

(2)Speak the truth in love.
-speak the truth
-speak the truth in love
-only speak that which edifies
-get rid of the critical spirit

(3)Forgive those who sin and discipline those who do not repent of their sins.

(4)We belong to one another. There is one church.

(5)Be filled with the Spirit, worshiping the Lord, encouraging one another, and always giving thanks in everthing to God the Father.

These are hard things to do especially if we think in the flesh. Actually in the flesh they are impossible. We can't even imagine doing any of those things on our own because if we try, we will only fail and become depressed.
That is my problem many times. I want to be better than I am, and so I push myself and try to be someone I am not. This always ends in frustration and depression. I hate myself because I can't improve myself then God is so merciful. He suddenly reveals again that I am right I can't do it, but He can. He fixes my focus back on Him and everything is sunshiney from there ( until I take control again). I wish I could keep my focus constanly where I am happy, but sometimes I seem to enjoy gloom.
Welllll I am not sure why i wrote this but last night it hit exactly what I needed to hear so I thought all of you would like to hear it to. ( I am also trying to push myself out of my comfort zone and share pieces of my heart with people and it is easier to type my heart than to speak my heart.)