Read the one before this first. :D


Through this time I began to pull back from the church and people cause that is what I do when I am contiplating something new in my life. When I am learning something new, I am not a normal girl. I need my space to think it through before I talk about it or it just sounds wrong and I can't express it well. So I began to pull back from everyone but Jennifer and so the whole church thinks I am going crazy and losing my faith and junk, and then suddenly this new kid appears in church named Gabriel. Well... according to his myspace he has a girlfriend and he is 17 years old. Sounds safe enough to try to be friends with a guy. So I started hanging out with him a lot and myspacing him and emailing him and come to find out this guy is really cool and fun to hang out with and stuph. Well... we are friends for awhile and surprise his myspace lied!!! His girlfriend and him had broke up like a couple months before I met him! And uh oh I liked him a lot!! But this later fact I ignored and decide ok well... maybe we will date and I can practice dating and see what its like and stuff. So we started in a relationship I will call either special friendship (Adam's) or friends with bennefits (Jennifer's and Jon's) cause at this time I was a part of internship where we won't supposed to date. Well... after awhile of this Gabe said don't you think we should talk to your parents. I was like ummm...no thats ok. But he insisted and so I agreed. But I also told him I was not ready to be commited to someone completely cause I was scared of that word, but he still wanted to go ahead with talking to my parents. Soooo... I decided I needed to talk to my mom first. We had talked a couple weeks before and I was like no I don't like him enough to get into a relationship, but after this talk she understood what was going on spiritually in my life and it helped her calm down (which seems to happen every time I talk to someone), but now I thought it would be good for us to talk again before he asked them to be in a relationship with me. I am not sure why but I thought it would smooth things over, but somehow it worked. Though my parents did not give us permission to date they really liked Gabe ( they didn't really know him before) So we continued as 'special friends' and the thought that in two months we would be official or whatever you want to call it.
But a couple weeks later (I must have drank to much coffee or something emotionally snapped in my head.) I was babysitting and I just had this extream fear bombard(sp?)me that Gabe was going to leave me and not really want me and junk like that. I really need to talk to someone, but Jennifer's phone was broken and Claudia was at a movie and I couldn't think of anyone elso but Gabriel. So reluctantly I text him to see where he was. He answered (of course he wonderful about that :) But when I didn't answer that, he call but I didn't answer his call either (yea I know the stereotipical girl response that I hate but hey sorry I was an emotional mess.) So he texted me and called me again and finally I answered. I told him something was wrong, but didn't want to talk about it over the phone. So we decide to meet after I finished babysitting.
We went to the prayerroom and I told him all my feelings of abandonment and that it was nothing he did cause it was all inside my head. And I cried a lot. (I hate crying in front of anyone and usually hold it in until I am alone.) But then after awhile of emotional time :/ I told Gabe I was ready to commit to him and I was tried of this 'special friends' thing. So we were already planning to get together with my parents that Saturday so we decided to tell them we couldn't honestly wait anymore. That went amazingly well and they were like ok well we want to talk to Gabriel's parents first and ask him a bit more questions. Then the next day Mike called my mom and they talked for a long time and he told her some of his concerns. Then my parents called Gabe's parents that night and asked them a lot of questions some concerning Mike's questions and concerns. And the next week my mom and I went out to coffee and though she still had some questions for Gabe she said after they quizzed him that night they would tell him we could enter into a relationship. I went away from that conversation walking on clouds and the happiest girl alive. And since then it has been a dream.
There is a lot I need to learn about relationship and junk but God is teaching me so much about his character through this relationship and about myself. He is showing me what it means to love and be loved. He is teaching me more and more about faith in people and him. He has given me a joy and happiness that I have never felt before ever!! (or al least that I can remember) He has given me this peace that no matter what happens he will take care of it and guide us through.
So that is Marie's life in nutshell from the last nine months to a year. I am so thankful to God for everything he is doing in my life and for friends like Jennifer and Jacque. And for my parents who are there to support us yet still ask the hard questions. Wow...that sounded like an acknowledgement thingy from a cd. :/